When we speak about postpartum health, the focus often lands solely on the mother — her hormones, her emotions, her resilience. While these factors are important, there is a crucial piece that is often missed: the health and wellbeing of the baby, and how deeply it affects the mother’s physical and emotional state after birth. However, she might feel isolated which would slow down her own healing journey
Her nervous system, hormones, sleep, and emotional regulation are constantly responding to the needs and state of her baby. When a baby is thriving, supported, and settled, it creates space for the mother to heal. When a baby is struggling, the mother’s body often stays in survival mode.
When a baby is not settled, neither is the mother
Many mothers find that their postpartum experience becomes significantly harder when their baby is not feeding well, cries excessively, struggles with sleep, or appears uncomfortable in their body. These challenges place the mother in a constant state of vigilance.
She is listening for every cry.
Her mind is racing through every feed.
Watching, worrying, troubleshooting, and searching for answers — often while running on very little sleep.
This ongoing state of alertness keeps her nervous system activated, making it difficult for her body to rest, repair, and emotionally regulate after birth.
The emotional toll no one talks about
When a baby is unsettled, mothers often internalise the struggle. They may feel:
• “I’m doing something wrong.”
• “My body is failing my baby.”
• “Why is this so hard for us?”
When feeding doesn’t come easily or crying feels unmanageable, the emotional burden can be immense. Many women describe feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, and grief — especially when their expectations of early motherhood don’t match their lived reality. In these situations, postpartum depression and anxiety are not uncommon. For many women, PPD does not arise in isolation. It is deeply intertwined with exhaustion, lack of support, and the distress of seeing their baby struggle without clear answers or relief.
The hormonal and physical impact on the mother
A baby’s health — particularly their feeding and regulation — has a direct impact on a mother’s hormonal balance.
Breastfeeding challenges can affect oxytocin and prolactin levels, hormones essential for bonding, emotional stability, and healing. Ongoing stress elevates cortisol, which can interfere with sleep, mood regulation, milk supply, and physical recovery after birth. When a mother’s system remains under stress, her body is less able to heal from childbirth, process her birth experience, or find emotional steadiness in the postpartum period. This is not a failure of resilience — it is a physiological response.
Why this connection is so often missed
Once a baby is born, care systems and families naturally shift their focus to the newborn. Weight gain, feeding schedules, sleep patterns, and milestones take centre stage. In this process, the mother’s experience often fades into the background. What is rarely acknowledged is that supporting a baby’s wellbeing is also supporting the mother’s postpartum health.
Supporting the baby supports the mother
When a baby begins to feel more comfortable in their body, feeds with greater ease, and settles more readily, the mother’s nervous system often softens alongside them.
She sleeps more.
She worries less.
Her confidence grows.
Her body finally gets moments of rest and repair.
This is why approaches that support the baby gently and holistically — while recognising the mother–baby relationship — can make such a profound difference in the postpartum period.
A call for a wider lens in postpartum care
Postpartum wellbeing cannot be addressed by looking at the mother alone, nor by focusing only on the baby. We need to widen the lens. When both the baby and the mother are supported with equal care and attention, healing becomes possible for both.
Because a mother’s wellbeing matters.
And so does the quiet, powerful connection between her health and her baby’s.
